rest assured in Your great love

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Let my walk speak loud
And my words be true
Let my life be whole
With my eyes on You
Lord i'm stepping out
from the comfort zone
Letting go of me
Holding on to you


Wow Lord! what a week it has been!

ohs, i think i called ms ho last friday to tell her abt my results... By Your grace alone, i passed! thank you Lord! and later we talked abt love mg n she said she was going to JB for the sec 2 camp... i said i wanted to go to in my envious tone... n to my surprise she said CAN! on monday, mr heng was rushing out the application to the ministry of foreign affairs so i could go!!

monday came... n i was having second thots since i had no idea which other teachers would be going. sat in ms ho's car n topo-ed.. made 2 wrong turns due to the lousy directions. got there n realized tt i was all alone. didnt know quite a number of teachers so i just stood there waiting to move into our rooms.

wow.. then lynette came up to me n told me daniel was in her tuition w mr goh! she even said she spoke w dorothy! i was like "you know my whole family eh? you know my brother, my sister... wanna know my parents too? haha"
the 2 of us bunked w ms ho. n yes, thank You Lord for lynette... my companion to the toilet n everywhere whenever we werent on duty! =)

event unfolded quickly as i started crapping. so much i couldnt stop man. think the little jokes n all helped break the ice n i spoke first to janet ng. she's a little older than my mom.. teaches history. n she's a strong believer too! realized tt it was her wei zhen told me abt. she gave wei zhen a bible when she was teaching her in nanyang. cools!

later i got to know pei luan, sabrina, nicole n thory much better! over the many laughs n lame speech... wow. got to do the waterfall trek also... n spoke a little more to mr vincent ong. it's amazing how You've placed him back in mg.
come to think of it, i know you have a reason for it Lord.
i pray tt You will soften His heart n break thru to Him Lord. help him see tt his life is meaningless without You. Father, speak also to his wife n 3 kids... n i pray tt they will come to accept You as Lord n Saviour one day. thank you Lord for such a selfless man who is willing to reach down to help his students. it has etched memories in my heart. i wish to be as humble n self sacrificing as he is... help us grow in Christlikeness with each passing day. work in Him Lord!

coming back to the SIX-SOME. thory, sabrina, nicole, pei luan, lynette n me!!! we took so many hilarious n crazy pictures i feel so much younger again! never in my life was tt side of me unleashed. we even had one deep sharing on the 3rd day aftnn... started w thory asking if i had a boyfriend over lunch. wow.. now tt we know each other love lives... i would say tt i feel so encouraged by all these 5 sisters in Christ. they never fail to put You first i their lives... waiting upon You n trusting in Your timing. You have blessed some w boyfrensn husbands n the other half of us are stilll waiting for Your hand to move. but Lord, it has so encouraged m to go on waiting upon the Lord. believing tt in Your own time, you will send the right man into my life. even if You have decided to grant me the gift of singleness, i pray i accept it reverently, never wavering n having full faith in Your great n wondrous plan for my life.

the last day, went w ms ho n lynette to pekan nanas.. we bought so many things! fruits n snacks n had a nice walk around town. off we went for our kelong lunches n tt was where the photo action began. thanks to our kind photographer kelvin khoo! we managed some nice professional shots! hee.. thanks!

didnt get a chance to say goodbye to our 4 other new found frens before ms ho drove me n lynette back home. tooo tired for love mg... n also, didnt wanna see kok peng. wouldnt know what to do.

Father, you know the many sacrifices i'd made for tt friendship. n slowly as i let her have her way, her words n promises did not match her actions. not at all! i couldnt understand... n tried in vain to salvage the situation. finally, aft hurting me so much she alas spoke the truth. she really wasnt interested in saving our friendship. her seemingly excuses... of not being ready n never knowing when she'd be... to think i looked up to her n thot the best of her. my parents might jolly well have been right from the start. is she living in guilt now n cant face up to me anymore? her insults n hurting words. for the amount of time n effort i've put in.

I'm just glad she decided to stop lying. even the stars i saw in JB reminded me of the beginning of our friendship. 5 years later... it has ended. i dunno if things will ever become normal again... but for now... i feel so light. like i've one less burden weighing me down. n trust me, tt was almost the greatest burden in my life.

no doubt i've learnt many life lessons thru this... n i thank you father. i guess you've a reason for making me go thru this... not forgetting of course, tt it was the consequence of my choices.


right now??? THANK YOU FATHER for the coolest friends ive made... n the many frens tt i;ll make in the new sch year! i dont think i'll be sitting w the mg clique.. pls be gracious to me n show me favor Lord... as i flutter across cliques n mix with everyone. allow me to be myself again. the carefree n joyful gal i was. may my life be a LIVING TESTIMONY of Your grace n love! help me not let you down O Lord.

my my!!! mrs diana goh just rang me! she asked if i could relief teach on the first week of sem 2!!! BIOLOGY. oh my, Father you know i've always wanted to do just tt in mgs... but i never had the chance to.. so ended up in ctss last year for a month of so. but tt was where i met ivy ang again!
wow God! i Stand in AWE of YOU. You leave me SPEECHLESS. really.

ok. then on sunday, i was a fun filled day as yy, jolene, ally, vicky, petrina n amanda joined us for lunch at crystal jade la mian xiao long bao. got an opportunity to grow closer to these gals n esp petrina whom we gave a lift to paragon. as she waited for her mom to come, my sis n i entertained her n i really got my first real chance to talk talk talk with her.

had meeting w rick n kien ann at church yest.. mich n i are thinking of going back to khorat w them... in december. actually thinking of a recee trip in june. Father, if it is ur will for us to go... let it be. i pray tt i will strive daily to be sensitive to ur promptings n guidance. thank you Lord... Amen.

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